Here are tips for coping with a tense situation and hopefully resolving it to everyone’s satisfaction.

1. Remain calm. When a customer starts yelling or being otherwise rude, there is nothing to be gained by responding in a similar manner. In fact, that will probably escalate hostilities. Maintain control of yourself, even if the customer’s tirade makes you feeling like yelling yourself.

2. Don’t take it personally. Remember, the customer is not angry with you, they are displeased with the performance of your product or the quality of the service you provide. Your personal feelings are beside the point.

3. Use your best listening skills. The first thing an angry customer wants is to vent. To do so, they need someone to listen—and, for better or worse, you are that person. Listening patiently can defuse a situation, as long as the customer feels acknowledged in his or her complaint. Hear them out. When they are done talking, summarize what you’ve heard and ask any questions to further clarify their complaint. Body language can be critically important here. Keep eye contact. Stand or sit up straight. Keep your arms uncrossed.  Show how closely you’re paying attention to their problem.

4. Actively sympathize. After the customer vents, they want to know you understand where they are coming from and how they feels. Express sympathy for their unpleasant customer experience. Respect and understanding go a long way toward smoothing things over.

5. Apologize gracefully. Whether the customer’s complaint is legitimate or not is really irrelevant. If you want them to stay a customer, you need to express an apology for the problem they are having (or perceive to be having). A simple, straightforward statement is often all that’s needed: “I’m sorry you’re not happy with our product. Let’s see what we can do to make things right.”

6. Find a solution. Once you understand why the customer is unhappy, it is time to offer a solution. Ask them what they feel should be done or put forward. What is their own fair and realistic answer to the problem? In most cases, that’s all the customer is looking for—and may result in providing some degree of satisfaction.

7. Take a few minutes on your own. After the situation has been resolved and the customer is on their way, it’s helpful for you to take your own “time-out.” Even if you’ve handled the situation in the most professional way possible, it’s still a stressful experience. Rather than let that stress linger inside you, take a short walk, treat yourself to a snack or find someone to talk to who makes you laugh.